bayedsolid Chapter 281 Farm Rhapsody: From Dust to Treasure Trove
Chapter 281 Farm Rhapsody: From Dust to Treasure Trove
Old Du squatted by the stove, drawing a crooked Bagua diagram on the ash with a fire poker. He chuckled at Niwanzi, whose face was covered in chocolate-colored mud lines: "You brat, don't think you can escape your fate as a 'bad guy' just because you've changed professions to become a farmer!"
Old Du suddenly pulled a paper package from the stove, unfolding it to reveal a burnt sweet potato. "See this? The cracks in this sweet potato look like the map of our Tang Dynasty. Heaven is telling you—even in the Northeast, you still have to fulfill your obligations..."
Niwan Zi, holding a roasted sweet potato skin and all, seemed to understand something and jumped back three steps: "Master, is this implying that once I get to the Northeast, I should switch careers and become a veterinarian?"
"How should I put it?" Old Du raised his stove handle, and the sweet potato peel, like a crow spreading its wings, soared straight into the sky, startling three sparrows into chattering.
“This is called ‘openly repairing the plank road while secretly crossing the Chencang pass!’ My disciple, you carry a hoe and stroll around the fields, seemingly working in the fields, but in reality, you are observing the winding irrigation canal over there, figuring out its long, serpentine course; you water the wheat ears, seemingly nourishing the crops, but in reality, you are transmitting secret messages and codes, like a dandelion in the wind, trying to find the right landing point! Even the radishes you plant can later be carved into miniature wanted posters, and the portraits on the wanted posters will be incredibly lifelike! Even when you treat cattle, horses, pigs, sheep, donkeys, dogs, and chickens, in reality…” Before he could finish speaking, a rapid sound of hooves came from afar, as awe-inspiring as war drums.
A palace eunuch held up the imperial edict and shouted, "Du Wanzi, receive the decree! His Majesty appoints you as the 'Northeast Countryside Veterinarian,' effective immediately... um, what does this say?... 'Growing glowing glutinous rice balls is equivalent to three years of performance review'?"
Old Master Du laughed so hard he quickly pulled his apprentice to accept the imperial decree. After bowing in thanks, he pulled a gourd from his waist and took a big gulp: "Look! The Emperor has arranged everything for you! From now on, bury a pottery jar in the field, stick a rice stalk on top, and that will be our new way of communicating! Remember to bury a few jars, and while you're at it, pickle some sauerkraut, raise a couple of pigs, and have them as snacks for your master!"
Niwan Zi stared at the burnt sweet potato in his hand, noticing that the cracks really did resemble the Chinese character for "beast." He helplessly stuffed the sweet potato into his pocket, thinking that this was probably what they meant by—farming turned him into a rogue, even the sunflower seed shells carried missions…
Du Xiaobing, hands on his hips, launched into a new round of rants at Niwanzi: "Niwanzi! Look at our lives—we're not going to take the imperial examinations, we have no land to cultivate, but this house of ours has been transformed into a 'Childhood Dreamland'!"
Sizi puffed out her cheeks, with crumbs of pastry stuck to them, and mumbled indistinctly, "Hey, Miss, to be honest, this little rascal is so wronged! Maru-zi was really looking forward to starting a practical 'farmhouse tourism business,' but apart from Grandpa Du, the whole family is—'opponents'!"
“We’re doing this for his own good!” said Madam Du.
“Aiya, Guoguo’s situation is even worse than that of a little hamster trapped in a maze!” Sizi said, wiggling her round little bottom, looking extremely cute.
The young man gently wiped the goat milk stains from the corner of Sizi's mouth with his slender hands, his eyes sparkling as he switched to "deceptive mode": "Master's wife, Xiao Bing, don't misunderstand! I'm not just messing around. Even taking our chocolate-colored Labrador for runs every day is laying the foundation for him to become an 'Olympic champion of the Beastmen'!"
"What beast race? What dizziness? What fungus?"
"Haha, he's like a martial arts master in the animal kingdom... Look at our big brown dog, he runs like lightning! Who knows, one day he might be barking his way to a gold medal on the track!"
Mrs. Du rolled her eyes without hesitation and complained irritably, "Wan Zi, you're spouting nonsense again! What 'Olympic champion'? I think our house is turning into 'Zootopia' now! Which other family in Beijing is like us, raising sheep in the yard and milking them fresh, making it stink so bad, it's practically a 'mobile ranch'!"
Just then, Sizi suddenly waved her chubby little hands and interjected in a childish voice, "Empress Du, Sister Bing, don't be mean to Xiao Nangjun! He's just scouting locations for the next season of 'Farming World Circus'!"
As she spoke, Si Zi tilted her big head back, squinted her eyes, and teased Ni Wan Zi: "But, Wo Xue, Little Nang Jun, are you sure you weren't participating in the 'Dust Run Grand Prix' this morning? You were covered in dust, looking exactly like a 'walking groundhog,' and with your big brown dog, you looked even more like Mr. Dung Beetle, about to be swept into the sky by dust!" After saying that, she kept giggling.
Looking at Sizi's innocent and carefree appearance, Madam Du also "surrendered," and said with a helpless smile, "Alright, alright, as long as you're having fun, I, as your teacher's wife, won't say anything more. Anyway, saying more would be like 'casting pearls before swine'!"
With a worried look, she added, "Maru-zaki, next time you go running, at least wear some 'dust protection,' don't turn yourself into a 'walking vacuum cleaner' and suck all the dust into your stomach!"
Du Xiaobing stood to the side, listening to her mother speak in the same way, her face utterly bewildered. Ever since Niwanzi brought this adorable little baby home, the house had been like a "language blind box," with the whole family constantly spouting new, incomprehensible words. She felt like an outsider, having stumbled into a house in another world, completely unable to keep up!
Niwan Zi suddenly adopted a "heroic" stance, raising an eyebrow and smiling, "Master's wife, you can rest assured! I have a built-in 'dust immunity cheat'! But next time I go out, I'll definitely get a 'dust information collector,' and when I put it on the market, I guarantee it will sell for a 'sky-high price'! With this money, our travel expenses for the imperial examination will be taken care of, right?" As he spoke, he winked at his master's wife, looking just like a cunning little devil.
The little ox in my arms suddenly straightened up, its chubby little hands gesturing in the air, and it solemnly "pointed out the direction": "Little rascal, if you need money to pave the way for the imperial examination, just tell the tree nest."
"I want to realize my own value..."
"Okay, then I strongly suggest that you hurry up and apply for a 'special' app! Let's call it 'Dust Information Collection Artifact - Turn Running into a Get-Rich-Quick Code'! From now on, no matter who wants to use this artifact, they'll have to obediently pay you a 'toll'!" Si Zi's serious little face made him seem like a "business tycoon" who was really in control.
Mudball Purple's eyes crinkled with laughter as she showered Little Sizi's forehead with kisses, "Touch, touch, touch! Little strategist, you're absolutely right! We'll listen to you!" After the kisses, she pinched Sizi's chubby cheeks, "If you take Big Brown to exercise, you'll be in great shape and able to study hard. Once you master veterinary skills, you can get into agriculture and animal husbandry. Then our Du family will definitely be able to take off from here!"
Suddenly, Madam Du's eyes lit up, and she said excitedly as if she had discovered a new continent, "Heavens! Madam Du has finally figured it out! Wan Zi, you're not just fooling around, you're clearly playing a grand game of 'counterattack'! If you could really go to the Northeast, make a fortune by farming, eat beef and mutton freely every day, wear haute couture every day, ride in a limited edition carriage, and live in a luxurious courtyard house... that's much better than those empresses who marry into the court and play 'palace intrigue' games every day! I can hear the sound of this plan even from a thousand miles away!"
Niwan Zi clenched her fists, her eyes resolute: "Master's wife, just you wait and see! I'll definitely make sure our family lives a life of 'easy wins'!" Du Xiaobing, standing to the side, was completely bewildered, unconsciously shaking his head at the two clowns' antics, while tears welled in his eyes as he looked at his mother…
She gently poked Niwanzi's head and scolded, "You little rascals, you always say things that are hard to understand! You've corrupted your mother, but..." Du Xiaobing looked at the chattering group in front of him, and the corners of his mouth unconsciously turned up. He thought to himself, with you guys around, life is as lively as popping popcorn, indeed sweet and fragrant!