bayedsolid Ch. 62 - If You Don't Know Xie Sunan, Calling Yourself a Hero is Meaningless
Ch. 62 - If You Don't Know Xie Sunan, Calling Yourself a Hero is Meaningless
The next morning, just as dawn was breaking."Chen Pi, time to get up!" Zhang Dali banged on Chen Shu's door and shouted at the top of his lungs.
Chen Shu rubbed his eyes, looking drowsy and disheveled.
"Damn, why are you here so early?"
Who gets up this early on vacation?
Reluctantly getting out of bed, Chen Shu got dressed and came to the living room, where he saw Zhang Dali having breakfast with his parents.
He yawned and asked, "Did you stay up late last night? What brings you here so early?"
"Are you dumb? If I came any later, your family's breakfast would've gone cold."
Chen Shu shook his head. So you got up this early just to mooch a free meal?
"What do you want from me?"
Chen Shu grabbed a fried dough stick and dipped it in soy milk.
Zhang Dali said, "To meet an expert! Did you forget about last night?"
Father Chen Ping looked over. "Dali, what kind of expert are you talking about?"
"A pig butcher..."
Chen Shu shook his head, thinking Zhang Dali's brain had short-circuited.
After breakfast, Zhang Dali insisted on taking Chen Shu "to broaden his horizons," forcibly dragging him along.
Half an hour later, the two arrived at the intersection of Xiafei Road.
"Dali, I'm telling you—you haven't been brainwashed, have you? Can a pig butcher really track down fake medicine dealers?"
"When have I ever lied to you?" Zhang Dali looked indignant. "Have you ever heard the saying: 'If you don't know Xie Sunan, calling yourself a hero is meaningless'?"¹
Just as he finished speaking, an unknown object suddenly flew toward them.
"Who's there? A sneak attack?"
Chen Shu reacted quickly, catching it with his right hand.
Upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a pig's trotter with a few glistening hairs still attached.
"I never thought my reputation—Xie Sunan's reputation—had grown so big that even a couple of small fries like you had heard of it."
A bare-chested man wearing a brown apron sighed.
His eyes were melancholy. He held a gleaming cleaver, and his face was covered with a thick beard, giving him an air of mysterious profundity.
"Brother Xie, it's me—Dali!"
The moment Zhang Dali saw him, he ran over with excitement written all over his face.
Chen Shu looked up and saw the sign in front of the man's pork stall: "Xie's Pork."
The man sized up Zhang Dali, then said, "Oh? You're the one who came to me last time to investigate your family background, right?"
Chen Shu's body trembled as he stared at Zhang Dali with a strange expression.
Investigate family background? Don't tell me he really suspects he's not his parents' biological son. That's so like you, Zhang Dali.
"Brother Xie, it's me! I can't believe you still remember me."
"How could I not remember? Even a pair of underwear or a piece of toilet paper has its purpose."
Zhang Dali felt that comment was off, but didn't think too much about it.
"Brother Xie, today my friend wants to ask for your help."
Xie Sunan looked toward Chen Shu and said, "You too, kid? Do you also suspect that you're not your parents' biological child?"
"..." Chen Shu quickly shook his head and said, "I want to find someone!"
"Who?"
"A black market fake medicine dealer!"
"Any other information? Appearance? Height? Squatting posture?"
"??"
Chen Shu looked completely bewildered. Squatting posture is important information now?
Xie Sunan asked with a serious expression, "Is there a problem?"
Big brother, when I make this expression, it doesn't mean I have a problem—it means YOU have a problem, okay?
Chen Shu shook his head, feeling this was unreliable. But since Xie Sunan was someone Zhang Dali knew, he figured he might as well try everything—like treating a dead horse as if it were still alive.²
"Can you help me find this person?"
He pulled out Wang Bage's photo. He was now pretty certain that Old Wang was mixed up with fake medicine dealers.
"Having a photo makes it easy. What about other information?"
"This person used to be a con artist in the black market who specialized in selling mud. Now he's moved on to selling fake medicine."
"Holy crap! People actually bought mud?"
Xie Sunan was shocked. Suddenly, the pork in his hands didn't seem so appealing anymore.
Indignantly, he said, "There are too many fools in the world these days—not enough con artists to go around."
"Can't help it. I mean, what normal person buys mud? To play with at home?"
"Truly, happiness multiplies for the intellectually challenged!"³
The two continued to banter back and forth, while Zhang Dali stood on the sidelines, mouth twitching, unable to figure out how to refute them.
After all, he had bought mud the first time.
Are you two throwing shade at me here?
"Bros, both of you—let's focus on business!"
Zhang Dali finally couldn't take it anymore and interrupted their conversation.
"Right! Right! Business!" Xie Sunan nodded and said magnanimously, "Since we have all the other information, this will be easy. Come find me in three days."
"Thanks, Brother Nan!"
Chen Shu put down the pig's trotter and gave it a sniff. "Pretty fresh."
Just as he was about to leave, Zhang Dali pulled him aside and whispered, "Bro, you haven't paid yet."
"What money? I didn't want the pig's trotter." Chen Shu looked stunned.
"The fee for his services..."
Chen Shu's eyes widened as he spread his hands. "This costs money?!"
"Fifty thousand yuan! No negotiation!"
Xie Sunan frowned slightly. "Brother, you're not very street-smart, are you? Taking people's money to solve their problems—what am I supposed to do if I don't get paid?"
"Oh, come on..." Chen Shu looked completely exasperated. "Even if we sold Wang Bage, he wouldn't be worth fifty thousand."
Just as he was about to turn around, long-awaited options suddenly appeared before his eyes.
[Option 1: Accept Xie Sunan's help.]
Completion reward: Large amount of Beast Taming Power
[Option 2: Find someone else to help.]
Completion reward: High-grade Strength Potion
[Option 3: Solve it yourself.]
Completion reward: Medium-grade Beast Taming Pearl
Chen Shu's expression changed. He turned around suddenly and said decisively, "Absolutely no problem! Deal!"
Both of them were stunned. Your face changed way too fast!
For Chen Shu, skills and talents were the most important things, followed by Beast Taming Power. Everything else seemed mediocre in comparison.
"Three days from now—one hand money, one hand goods!"
Xie Sunan nodded, then suddenly remembered something. "By the way, you're a beast tamer from Nanjiang Second High, right?"
"What? Does Brother Xie have a son studying at Second High too?"
"..." Xie Sunan's mouth twitched. "Do I really look that old?"
He stroked his thick beard as he said this.
Chen Shu and Zhang Dali both nodded in unison. Oh, you absolutely do.
"Brother Xie, give me two pounds of ribs!"
A middle-aged man rode by on his bicycle and looked toward the pork stall.
Xie Sunan glanced at the customer and felt overwhelmed with mixed emotions for a moment.
After seeing the man's bald head, he quietly sighed.
Adult breakdowns happen in an instant...
"Sir, could you please not call me that? I'm really not old!"
Seeing that the pork stall was gradually getting customers, Chen Shu and Zhang Dali left Xiafei Road.
¹ "If you don't know Xie Sunan, calling yourself a hero is meaningless" (平生不识谢素楠，纵称英雄也枉然)
This is a parody of the famous line from Jin Yong's martial arts novel The Deer and the Cauldron (鹿鼎记, 1969–1972): "平生不识陈近南，纵称英雄也枉然" ("If you haven't met Chen Jinnan in your life, calling yourself a hero is meaningless").
Chen Jinnan (陈近南) is the legendary leader of the Heaven and Earth Society (天地会), a secret anti-Qing resistance organization in the novel. He serves as the mentor to protagonist Wei Xiaobao and is revered throughout the martial arts world as the ultimate hero—so famous that not knowing him disqualifies anyone from claiming heroic status.
The humor here lies in Zhang Dali applying this grandiose phrase to Xie Sunan—a random pork butcher who moonlights as a private investigator.
² "Treating a dead horse as if it were still alive" (死马当成活马医)
A Chinese idiom meaning "to try everything as a last resort" or "nothing to lose by trying." Literally: treating a dead horse as though it could still be cured.
³ "Happiness multiplies for the intellectually challenged" (弱智儿童欢乐多)
A popular Chinese internet phrase used sarcastically to mock foolish behavior. Literally "retarded children have lots of fun"—implying that ignorance is bliss, or that only an idiot would fall for such an obvious scam. Here, Chen Shu and Xie Sunan are bonding over their shared disbelief that anyone would buy mud, while Zhang Dali—who did buy mud—squirms in embarrassment.