bayedsolid Ch. 99 - Reasonably Speaking, I Chen Shu Shouldn't Have Offended Anyone, Right?
Ch. 99 - Reasonably Speaking, I Chen Shu Shouldn't Have Offended Anyone, Right?
New Event: Global Dungeons Daily ReleasesEvening. Male dormitory, Room 102.
Chen Shu and his two roommates had long since left to head home and grab their bedding and other daily necessities.
But beautiful singing still echoed from inside the dorm.
"Pleasant Goat, Pretty Goat..."
Wang Yun and Hong Ming were still facing the wall in penance. Their throats had gone completely hoarse, yet they persisted in singing. Now THAT was professionalism!
Students passing by the dorm all wore strange expressions, some even wondering if the place was haunted.
"Wang Yun, we've sung it enough times, right?"
"Should be..."
Even though Chen Shu and the others had left, they still didn't dare escape on their own. The butcher's knife was still embedded in the door.
See the blade, see the man!
This was the oppressive aura of the Nanjiang Bandit!
"Let's go! Should be fine now."
The two of them were utterly exhausted, supporting each other as they stumbled out of Chen Shu's dorm.
The moment they opened the door, passing students all turned to stare.
Hong Ming stood there shirtless, his face pale, his voice hoarse—looking weak beyond measure.
The other students wore strange expressions, the corners of their mouths curling into inexplicable smiles.
"What are you looking at?! Never seen handsome guys before?!"
Wang Yun shouted, then retreated with Hong Ming to their own dorm.
At that moment, Tang Lie happened to be returning to school from home.
Tang Lie was tall with handsome features, though his eyes held a hint of gloom that added a certain villainous quality to his aura.
"Did you give that kid the warning?" he asked.
The moment they saw Young Master Tang, Wang Yun and Hong Ming immediately burst into tears, their faces full of grievance.
Wang Yun sobbed, even starting to stammer. "Young Master Tang! He... he..."
Tang Lie frowned. "He what?!"
"He trampled our souls!"
"..."
Meanwhile, Chen Shu was riding his bicycle, whistling, in an excellent mood.
He hadn't expected to become classmates with Xie Sunan and Xu Xingxing. Looked like senior year wouldn't be a solo battle after all.
I should bring more urea bags from home for self-defense.
The thought crossed Chen Shu's mind as he picked up speed.
Just as he was about to set foot on that dim street, choices suddenly appeared before his eyes once again.
【Option 1】: You've fallen into a crisis. You decide to risk your life and counterattack to display your might. Completion Reward: Beast Tamer Level +1
【Option 2】: Clever as you are, you choose to flee. Completion Reward: Invisibility Potion
【Option 3】: Stand at the street corner and shout: "I'll take on all ten of you! Anyone who doesn't fear death, come at me!"[1] Completion Reward: Large amount of Beast Taming Power
Chen Shu's expression froze instantly. He'd run into danger again, for fuck's sake.
Was this street cursed or something? The first time, he'd stumbled upon someone getting robbed. The second time, he'd been ambushed by Zheng Nan's lackeys.
Could this be the legendary street of sin?
Hesitation flickered in Chen Shu's eyes. He wanted to complete the first option—after all, it meant gaining a Beast Tamer level.
Once he became a Level 8 Beast Tamer, he'd instantly surpass Xu Xiaoyu and the others to become the number one genius in the class.
Let me check out the situation first.
Chen Shu tossed his bicycle at the street corner and crept stealthily onto the dim road.
The yellowish streetlamps cast their glow, but there wasn't a single pedestrian around. Something was clearly off.
Slap! Slap!
Suddenly, Chen Shu heard strange slapping sounds coming from a tree above his head.
He raised an eyebrow. People are getting this wild these days?
With an attitude of appreciation and learning, he silently climbed up.
In the tree, two mysterious men were squatting on the branches.
"Brother Liu, are we really going to catch that student?"
A thin, scrawny young man spoke up, continuously slapping at his own exposed skin with slap slap sounds, trying to ward off the summer mosquitoes.
A bald man nodded with certainty. "Of course! I did my research ages ago. This street is the route he has to take!"
"But Brother Liu, we've been staking this out for half a month. The mosquitoes on this street have gotten a whole size bigger."
The bald man stroked his chin and frowned. "That doesn't make sense. As long as he goes home from school, he definitely takes this road."
"School?" The thin young man's eyes widened. "Brother Liu, isn't it summer vacation right now?"
"Vacation? I don't do vacations."
The thin young man was speechless. He asked weakly, "Brother Liu, don't tell me you never went to school..."
The bald man's breath caught. He felt completely exposed, but he forced out, "Who says? Your Brother Liu has a college degree. You know how valuable that is?"
The thin young man's mouth twitched. "College? What college?"
The bald man said calmly, "KG."
"What's KG?"
"Kindergarten Graduate."
"Oh, give me a break..."
The young man rubbed his temples, then slapped his arm again. A blood-swollen mosquito exploded on impact.
"Brother Liu, this is absolutely ridiculous. How come no mosquitoes bite you?"
"Obviously! I put on Six God before I left."[2]
The young man frowned. "Six what?"
Just as the bald man was about to respond, an unfamiliar voice rang out beside their ears.
"Six God! You idiot!"
"See, even strangers know." The bald man nodded immediately.
A moment later, both of them suddenly realized what had just happened.
"Hm? HM!"
They whipped their heads around in unison, instantly spotting the stranger beside them.
The bald man's face filled with suspicion. "You are?"
"The Nanjiang Bandit. Chen Shu!"
With that, Chen Shu kicked out twice with lightning speed.
"Down you go, both of you!"
The two instantly lost their balance, tumbling off the tree and crashing to the ground.
Chen Shu immediately summoned his Golden Slime. Enhanced by Gigantification, the slime's body swelled to the size of a small hill, plummeting straight toward them.
If it landed squarely, both of them would be dead for sure.
Chen Shu looked down from above, not having expected anyone would actually try to make a move on him.
Just as he was waiting to see their death throes, the rapidly falling slime suddenly bounced back up.
"Goo-gii! Gii-gii-goo!"
The slime's large eyes snapped open, continuously sucking in cold air.
Huh? What's going on?
Chen Shu's expression shifted. Had he run into tough customers?
He leaped down from the tree as well, landing beside his slime.
There was a wound on the slime's rear end, colorless liquid oozing out—clearly it had taken damage.
It got its defenses broken in one hit?
Chen Shu instantly dropped his carefree expression.
Under the dim streetlamp, the two men slowly rose to their feet. Beside them stood a terrifying black scorpion.
A Black-tailed Scorpion?
Chen Shu was secretly alarmed. A C-rank contract spirit, and one specialized in pure attack at that—extremely threatening.
And more importantly, that contract spirit's aura had clearly reached Level 9!
These two seemingly low-IQ individuals were actually Level 9 Beast Tamers!
"They sent Level 9 Beast Tamers? Was that really necessary?"
Chen Shu frowned, already thinking about escape.
If it were just one Level 9 contract spirit, he might still be able to put up a fight—after all, his slime had been enhanced multiple times.
But that thin young man hadn't made a move yet. If they could work together, their strength had to be roughly equal.
He spoke up. "Reasonably speaking, I, Chen Shu, come from an upstanding family, always happy to help others. I'm definitely an outstanding youth of the new era.[3] I shouldn't have offended anyone, right?"
[1] "I'll take on all ten of you!": Iconic line from the 2008 martial arts film "Ip Man," where the legendary Wing Chun master (played by Donnie Yen) challenges and defeats ten Japanese karate black belts single-handedly. One of the most quoted lines in Chinese cinema, used as a meme for supreme confidence against overwhelming odds.
[2] Six God (六神): Liushen Florida Water, China's most famous mosquito repellent brand. The literal translation "Six God" became an internet meme mocking overly literal translations. Here, the comedy comes from the bald assassin using the English name pretentiously, only to be corrected by Chen Shu from above.
[3] "Upstanding family" (根正苗红): Literally "roots correct, sprouts red"—a Communist-era phrase meaning someone from a politically correct family background, the ideal revolutionary citizen. Chen Shu uses this ironically to claim he's a model youth, which is maximally absurd given he just threatened students at knifepoint, called himself "The Nanjiang Bandit," and is currently in the middle of attacking two strangers.